Monday 26 August 2013

Ask Me Monday #6


Every Monday we randomly choose one question that has been sent
in during the week and answer it here, in Sexy U's Blog.

Do YOU have a question to do with sex, intimacy or wondering
if something you heard is true? All people have questions - why wonder when you can
simply ask a professional Sex & Intimacy Coach?!
Send in your question via inbox on the Sexy U Facebook Page or completely
anonymously in the provided box on the main page of the Sexy U Website
and we just might answer yours!

This week's question is:

Will you be doing a class about candle wax play?
What kinds of candles to use, safety, etc....

At the moment I don't have a plan in place for a class specifically on wax play, 
however in the Bondage for Beginners class coming up on September 12th 
we will be talking about wax play a bit - even with a couple of 
different waxes that Doctor Love has in store that you will be able to feel if you like!
There will be quite a few different demos in the Bondage for Beginners class.

I'm sure that other people that are unable to come to the class are curious about this as well, so I will do an in depth post about candle wax play for you right here, right now!

Many people enjoy adding wax play to their play time and it can be a very sensual and fun thing to do, provided you know the safety procedures and things to watch out for.
I'm so glad that you asked rather than have a bad experience and swearing off of wax play like I did many years ago - Since then I have learned so much and have been lucky to meet some great play partners over the years to teach me the ins and outs of wax play. I'm no longer turned off of it and add it in to our sensation play once in a while :)



The mistake I had made back in the day when I was young & naive was to go to the dollar store and get some pretty colored candles. I also wanted them to smell pretty too because my frame of mind was that with a blindfold on I could not only feel the wax with the anticipation of not seeing what was going on but to smell it also. BAD IDEA.

I was blistered, and the moment was not sexy and fun!! 
Most people (I would hope) would test it on their skin first.... I will get to the safety part further down the page though. But like I said - Young and naive!!

Some people are sadists and masochists (love giving or receiving pain) to varying degrees. Some like it much harsher than others of course so some of this info will depend on how painful you want it to be. 

As with any type of scene or play, communication is crucial to have a mutually pleasurable experience. It is especially important when playing with wax or anything that could potentially cause harm either physically or mentally. Talking to your partner before hand about your limits and expectations, safewords and knowing their physical body language and being completely honest if you discover that something isn't pleasurable is so important to ensure a great and safe time for all involved.

Important tidbits of waxy information:

The size of the candle, the ingredients and how far or how close to the skin you drip or pour it from will all vary the experience. 
Many different candles have different melting points and you definitely want to choose a wax with a lower melting temperature.
Paraffin wax is the best type of wax to use for wax play as it has the lowest melting point of around 120 degrees.
Votive candles melt at around 135 degrees, taper candles around 140 degrees or higher and the absolute worst form of wax to use for this type of play is beeswax - beeswax is extremely hot and melts at around 145 degrees or higher and it will burn!

There is another type of candle meant to be used on the body called a massage candle. These candles are made from hemp & soy and are totally safe to use on the body. These are not meant for pain though or great sensation play - they burn warm, not hot and are meant to be used for sensual massage. 
The melting point is very low at only 2 degrees warmer than your body temperature so it isn't great to be used for wax play since it's not hot at all. 
It is nice for warm massages though and it doesn't at all flake or harden like regular wax - It literally massages right in to the skin like a nice cream, leaving the skin silky soft & smooth. I love these in the winter :)
These are generally quite a bit more expensive than other types of candles
and are often flavored and/or scented. Because of the super low melting temp
its quite alright for fragrances in this case.

Ingredients such as fragrances (except for in massage candles), color and stearic acid (just look at the ingredients list on the candle or packaging) may cause irritation and burns as they highten the melting point temperature.

Something else that will help to reduce burns or irritations will be to hold the candle at least 18 inches above the body. By the time it hits the skin it will have lowered the temp a small amount. The closer to the body that you drip from, the hotter it will be - Always start higher.

The size of a candle will also make a bit of a difference. Long, thin taper candles or Sabbath candles will provide single drips, while larger, wider candles will be able to pool up so you can actually pour out a larger amount at a time. This is much more intense than small drips. It's great to grab a few different sizes and start with a taper while slowly working your way to large pools.

You can find paraffin wax candles at Dollar Stores for a decent price, just be sure that it is JUST paraffin. 
Something that is great fun is to make your own candles too - Paraffin is what people use when canning, it's that time of year right now so you will be able to find paraffin for canning at most grocery stores for a decent price. 
This way you can experiment by making candles of different sizes, I find it a lovely experience to have a few different sizes by your side when enjoying wax play since different sizes create different effects.
Start with a taper just dripping from way up high at first and then work your way to a pool from a wider candle.

You can also use a hot plate or a crock pot to heat large quantities of wax! This way you can make penis molds, spread wax using a ladle and use large quantities of melted wax at a time. If you do this, be sure that you have already used this exact wax in smaller quantities so that you know it's effects on the body.

Safety:

No matter what you are using be sure to test the wax on your skin before using it on your partner to ensure that it isn't too hot. I also suggest the bottom or sub to test one drip before being covered with it to be sure they arent too irritated. Some are much more sensitive than others, so it's always a good idea to test an area of skin first.

If using or heating large quantities of wax at a time, be sure to use a candy thermometer to keep the temperature at 120 degrees or lower. This will prevent burns and is very important.

Avoid waxing the face and head as these are obviously risky areas to have near open flame. Hot wax can permanently damage the eyes and would be insanely painful as well. 
Also, stay away from any hairy areas - wax is extremely awful and can be very painful to remove from the hair. 

Be sure to use drop cloth under your submissive to avoid ruining any surfaces. I recommend a non porous drop cloth (I LOVE dollar store shower curtains - they are useful for countless situations and you can throw them out afterwards! Definitely good to have a few kicking around). Using a non porous drop cloth will prevent the wax from soaking through to the floor.
Be sure that it is quite large - wax can be quite splattery, especially when dropping it from so high.

Remove any obvious fire hazards from the immediate play space and of course do not leave candles burning unattended! Blow them out before you excitedly leave the room!

Anywhere else on the body besides hairy areas & the head are good to go for wax play. 
Remember to communicate, play safe and choose your candles carefully.
You can find paraffin wax almost anywhere - just double check the ingredients 
and most adult stores carry massage candles and candles meant for wax play as well.
We carry them both at Doctor Love here in Mission.

I hope I answered your question! Please let me know if I missed something or you are curious about anything in this topic via message or feel free to comment on this post! 
I love comments!


Until next time,

Dana















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